Just not feeling it today.

I feel like my life is just one big circle that goes round and round with nothing ever changing. Of course it does and that's not a realistic view, but it's the best I can come up with right now. I am really happy about getting to know Jan better and hanging out with them, but I always have the kids with me. Seems like everyone else gets a break from their kids except me. I love my kids to death but sometimes a little "me" time would be nice. No one ever offers to take me out or to take the kids for me. I feel like the only way for me to get a break is to throw a huge fit and force Phil to let me out. I rarely get me time, but when I do it's never long enough. I think I maybe get 3hrs every 2-3 months. That's not much. I see many mom's who get more than that at least once a week...Plus, why is it that other husband's take initive to take their wives out, but yet mine doesn't even attempt. When he does, I have to make all the arrangments for a babysitter. It's so frustrating. I know I sound like a huge baby right now, but I don't really care. I feel like no one cares about making me feel good. Seems like I'm just here to teach the kids, clean up after them, ect. Not feeling appreciated gets old after awhile. For once it would be nice for someone to appreciate what I do and reward me for it. I don't get a paycheck or a bonus for doing my job. Sometimes I get a hug, or kiss. I love those things, but it would also be nice to feel like I have a value in life outside of these four walls.