Well, I said a few blog posts ago that I wouldn't be linking my blog to Facebook for awhile. I think I have changed my mind on that. We are going through so many changes and I am finding that blogging is a good outlet to get my thoughts out. In fact, I feel like I am not blogging enough! I have so much in my head that I want to write about but just can't seem to find the time.
I figure that if I am going to share with Facebook, then I should maybe summarize for those who don't feel the need to go back and read the last few posts...
We as a family have been studying modesty, though it was not originally intended for the boys in the family. At first it was a personal conviction, then paying attention to our girls, how they dress, how boys look at our oldest, and things like that.
A few weeks ago I set some goals for myself regarding my looks. While I had specifics, I will not list those here. What I will say, is that I am trying to dress how I want other women to dress in front of my husband. I want to dress how I assume other women want me dressed in front of their men. I want to show my girls how to be a girl in attitude and looks. To be honest, before I really starting reaching for these new goals, I did not realize how far I was from these things.
I did not realize what an affect it had on my girls that I was not dressing and acting girly. I have never really been a girly girl, and I was okay with that. The big surprise was that I realized that it was also having a major affect on my son and husband! My husband married me and knew who I was, without being done up all the time, so why would it change things with him?
Well, within just a few short days of making changes, I realized that my husband was speaking to me kinder. So was my son. My toddler was informing me that I cannot leave my room without a t-shirt over my camisole. My oldest was taking more responsibility for herself. She always loved dressy outfits, accessorizing, and doing her hair, but now she seems to be making sure she looks put together, and not like Punky Brewster.
These changes have been so good. They go so much deeper than I could have ever imagined. I didn't realize how clothing changes could change the mood of our entire household. I didn't realize how it would change my marriage. I didn't realize that my son would show more respect not only to me, but his sister's as well. When I was reading about modesty in the Bible, it actually talked more about attitude than clothing. Well, I now see how it all plays in to one another, and I would agree, it is more about attitude than clothing. However, clothing can play a huge role. If I act like a lady, expect other's to treat me like a lady, then I will be treated like a lady. In turn, that forces the men/boys to be better gentlemen. You always hear people say "the good ones are taken" Well, maybe if us ladies acted like ladies, then maybe there would be more gentlemen out there.
Lastly, the reason I was keeping quiet about this is very simple. I needed time to figure this out for myself. I needed time for my family to adjust. We needed to figure out where God was leading us and how it was going to change our lives. I needed to come to terms with what God is doing in our lives. I have now spoken to a friend about this who was not aware of the changes going on in full. She had just noticed that I "looked nice". Speaking with this friend made me feel so much better about the questions I will surely face. She was so kind and open to what I had researched and what changes I was making. She was very kind and loving and didn't seem put off by what I had to say. I have been so afraid that people will change their view of me, and think that I am some super religious person or something, when in fact, I am not. The truth is, I am a mess. I think we all are in our own ways. I am and always still will be the relaxed person who doesn't hold back her feelings, and who isn't afraid to talk about things with people. Am I changing? Sure. Aren't we all? We are all on different journeys in life, and this is just where my journey is taking a turn in the road. I don't expect everyone else to take the same road I am.
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