Well, typically we don't have much money for a birthday present for me from my family so they just get something small. This year was different. This year I am in a weightloss healthy challenge. I am trying to lose weight and get healthy. My husband decided that he would get me a new bike for my birthday, but give it to me a couple weeks early to help with my workouts. I LOVE my new bike! It is geared so much differently and has a much more comfortable seat. I love to take long rides on it. I currently can do about seven miles in 45 minutes. I hope to one day be able to much more than that without having to stop and rest. This is a great start though!
Since I got my bike early, I didn't have anything to open on my birthday/Mother's day. A child did hand me a water bottle cage (for my bike) but it ended up being the wrong color. I hated to tell them but it was the only thing left that I wanted and they had driven to four stores to find what they thought was the right one. When they asked if it was the right one they could just tell from the look on my face. I felt bad cause they had tried but on the other hand I felt jealous. Jealous of all the mom's on Facebook. Jealous that they all were posting these pictures of cards, flowers, and presents they were given. Jealous that their husbands and kids were pampering them by giving them a day off. I didn't get any of that. Here I was struggling to get kids ready for church, a house cleaned and dinner ready for my mom to come over for her Mother's day dinner. I was working my butt off while reading how wonderful all these mother's felt being spoiled. I also was getting texts from a cousin stressing about having dinner at her home. This just added to my jealousy. Why is she complaining? She doesn't have kids. She doesn't have a 2yr old's messes to clean up. I was so frustrated. Here is was not only Mother's Day, but my birthday as well. Feeling sick didn't help at all either...In the end, I realized that I shouldn't be jealous. I shouldn't even bother to get on Facebook and risk having those jealous feelings. It doesn't matter what these other people got. Before the internet, people never shared all those things, and people didn't care what other's got. So why should I care now? I knew going into marriage that my husband wasn't a very romantic person. I knew that he gets me practical things because he knows I am a practical person. While I am a girl and would love to be spoiled with frivolous things every now and then, it really isn't something that I want very often. So for future, I think I will just stay away from Facebook on holidays because if I don't see things then I won't feel jealous.
Now, though my actual birthday I felt sick, tired, jealous, and frustrated, the two days prior were the exact opposite. Friday we had a great day at home. The kids were wonderful, got along, helped with chores, and did school great. In the afternoon we took them to gym and art class. While they were there I went and spent time with my Grandfather, and Skyped with my brother. That was very special for my Grandfather since he really misses my brother. After we picked the kids back up from their class, we went and got Ellie (a friend's teenager). We had a great evening with the kids, and I stayed up late talking with Ellie. The next day we got up, and had to be at the ball field for Bubba's baseball game. It was only 44 degrees and so Ellie stayed home with the girls. It was great to be able to watch the game just us without having to chase after a 2yr old or hear Mo complain about how boring it was. When we got back we got some things done around the house, and then everyone except Squeeks and myself went out shopping (for that one present they planned to get me). Squeeks took a nap and I layed around since I didn't feel well. When they all got back, Ellie told us to go out for my birthday date. We went out to dinner, ran errands, went for dessert, and then a drive. It was wonderful to get out for a few hours and not worry about kids. They all had gotten along perfect all day and we knew that they were fine at home.
I was feeling so incredibly blessed on Saturday. Blessed that we have three beautiful children. Blessed that even though we may have rough days, we also have many many great days. Blessed that my children love to spend time together and are great friends. Blessed that I have a husband that loves to spend time with his kids, teach them new things and skills, and cuddle with them. Blessed that we also have a fourth child that while not our own, chooses to call us mom and dad. Who comes to our home to spend time with us and our children cause she loves us as her own family. Bless to be a mentor to her, an open ear/shoulder for her, and to have an extra sibling for our children. We have gone through some big fights with her and our children in the past, especially our oldest. To see their relationship go from fighting, bickering and complaining, to finding common ground, talking about things, crafting together and playing together is such a beautiful thing. I am so glad that they have this loving sibling relationship now. I feel so blessed to have these four beautiful children in our lives and to call us mom & dad.
I didn't really have a plan to wrap this post up so I guess it is this...While the world tells us to celebrate on certain days and to make people feel special on certain days, that is not always necessary or work out right. My family had no intentions of making my birthday a rough one, nor did my friend's on Facebook. It was just a normal day that got lost in the happenings of life. It is almost more special and beautiful when things happen the way they did the two days prior. When life becomes beautiful and special just happening on their own, that's when you know true happiness. I don't need a card or flowers to tell me that I have a beautiful family who loves me.
Oh, and I almost forgot. In the end, we did pull off a great lunch for my mom. We had a great time talking, eating, and hanging out for awhile. We hadn't done that in awhile and it was even better to do it in the comfort of our own home where we didn't have to worry about kids messes, restruants, or getting into things. It was just a wonderful relaxing time.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
One of THOSE days
It is only 11:30am and already it has been a long day. It is one of THOSE days. For those trying to understand what the sensory issues are in our household, let me give you a picture of what a day like this consists of.
Anything and everything can set the 7yr old off into a crying frenzy. You never know what will set her off and how to stop it. Sometimes she just needs to get it out before life can move on. This could be the simplest thing like not letting her get a chicken out, not getting the correct yogurt or simply turning off the tv. Most days these things are not a big issue but on a day like today it is a major issue. It can set her off crying for upwards of 5-10 minutes. That has been how this morning was for Mo. I can already tell that due to the uncontrollable emotions this morning that homeschooling will be extremely hard today and we will be lucky if we even get two subjects done.
Today the 2yr old has her emotions in check. It is a good day emotionally for her. However, her proprioceptive disorder is in high gear today. She is needing to touch everything and taste everything. All morning long I have chased her around the house getting her out of things and cleaning up her messes. Some could think this is normal 2yr old behavior, but it's not. It is more than that. Most two years olds make messes just to make messes. For Squeeks it is the intense NEED to feel everything, every texture, and taste every object. So far today it has mostly been food, paper and crayon related. Other days it is soap, cleaners, licking the floor and walls, and just about every other thing that could make her sick. Although today is rough, I am thankful it isn't anything that will harm her.
So, What does a day like this mean for the parent? It means that anything that I wanted to accomplish will not get done most likely. It means that my day will be solely focused on meeting sensory and emotional needs. This is so important because if their needs are not met then things will get worse. Tears will turn into anger and uncontrolled temper. Messes will become larger and 2yr old tantrums will start. As I type this I have 3 kids playing outside in "clean mud" (a combination of baking soda and enough water to made it into a moldable mud.) Why? This is extra sensory input. It feels good to them, gives them something to focus on and tells their brain to calm down. After this we should have a good hour or two. After lunch the 2yr old may or may not nap....
Well, now as I write this, the 2yr old has dumped her clean mud into the grass and is mad she can't pick it back up. It looks like this was the wrong input for today. Now we will be loading up and heading to the park. Why? Not to play but to hang on the bars, to climb the steps to the slide, to do all the things that give extra sensory input and tells her brain that this activity should wear her out and calm her down. On a bad day like today, there is nothing else that will work. Well, except swimming, that is the one exception.
As you can see from my last paragraph, I never know when and how my day will change. While I would love to control these things, some days it is not possible. Days like these I just pray to keep up a bit and remind myself that tomorrow is a new day. Today is today, do not worry about the house, worry about keeping the kids happy, healthy, fed, and well kept. Other things can wait. Even the therapists has informed me that at this age it is more important to learn to deal with the sensory disorder than to do school. SO, we do school on the good days, what we can on the bad days, and in the end, I know that my girl is not behind her peers and is well on her way to a good education. Hopefully between therapy and the things I do at home, she will also become a well rounded individual who knows how to control her lifelong disorder.
Anything and everything can set the 7yr old off into a crying frenzy. You never know what will set her off and how to stop it. Sometimes she just needs to get it out before life can move on. This could be the simplest thing like not letting her get a chicken out, not getting the correct yogurt or simply turning off the tv. Most days these things are not a big issue but on a day like today it is a major issue. It can set her off crying for upwards of 5-10 minutes. That has been how this morning was for Mo. I can already tell that due to the uncontrollable emotions this morning that homeschooling will be extremely hard today and we will be lucky if we even get two subjects done.
Today the 2yr old has her emotions in check. It is a good day emotionally for her. However, her proprioceptive disorder is in high gear today. She is needing to touch everything and taste everything. All morning long I have chased her around the house getting her out of things and cleaning up her messes. Some could think this is normal 2yr old behavior, but it's not. It is more than that. Most two years olds make messes just to make messes. For Squeeks it is the intense NEED to feel everything, every texture, and taste every object. So far today it has mostly been food, paper and crayon related. Other days it is soap, cleaners, licking the floor and walls, and just about every other thing that could make her sick. Although today is rough, I am thankful it isn't anything that will harm her.
So, What does a day like this mean for the parent? It means that anything that I wanted to accomplish will not get done most likely. It means that my day will be solely focused on meeting sensory and emotional needs. This is so important because if their needs are not met then things will get worse. Tears will turn into anger and uncontrolled temper. Messes will become larger and 2yr old tantrums will start. As I type this I have 3 kids playing outside in "clean mud" (a combination of baking soda and enough water to made it into a moldable mud.) Why? This is extra sensory input. It feels good to them, gives them something to focus on and tells their brain to calm down. After this we should have a good hour or two. After lunch the 2yr old may or may not nap....
Well, now as I write this, the 2yr old has dumped her clean mud into the grass and is mad she can't pick it back up. It looks like this was the wrong input for today. Now we will be loading up and heading to the park. Why? Not to play but to hang on the bars, to climb the steps to the slide, to do all the things that give extra sensory input and tells her brain that this activity should wear her out and calm her down. On a bad day like today, there is nothing else that will work. Well, except swimming, that is the one exception.
As you can see from my last paragraph, I never know when and how my day will change. While I would love to control these things, some days it is not possible. Days like these I just pray to keep up a bit and remind myself that tomorrow is a new day. Today is today, do not worry about the house, worry about keeping the kids happy, healthy, fed, and well kept. Other things can wait. Even the therapists has informed me that at this age it is more important to learn to deal with the sensory disorder than to do school. SO, we do school on the good days, what we can on the bad days, and in the end, I know that my girl is not behind her peers and is well on her way to a good education. Hopefully between therapy and the things I do at home, she will also become a well rounded individual who knows how to control her lifelong disorder.
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