Last week seemed to fly by and I never got to post. Last week was great! The kids and I had a really good week. It is amazing how much closer the kids are getting already. I didn't realize that keeping a schedule and separating them for school was keeping them from developing a deep friendship with one another. I used to always tell them "You better learn to get along because your siblings will be your best friends you will ever have". I haven't had to tell them that once in the last week. Instead, I am hearing them say things like "But mom, why do we have to quiet down?! I am just playing with my best friend!" or sarcastically running into a room saying "Oh, my best friend! I haven't seen you in so long!" As a mom, this makes me so happy. I had felt like I had done everything possible to try and get my kids to have a close relationship. Some days I felt they had this, other days they fought constantly. In the last week, they have gotten along every day. Of course they have little spats here and there, but I think they are finally developing the relationship I have longed for them to have. And to think, all it took was for me to give them a little more freedom.
So you would think that since we went to unschooling, our days would be wide open with not a lot going on, except kids playing. It has been the opposite! We have done more "schooling" than we have in a long time! I love that everything we are currently studying, the kids are engaged, having fun, and retaining what I am teaching them. I love that Kayla is involved in almost every single thing we are doing. At this time, the only thing we do without her is art, which is about 2-3 hours a week. We do this during her nap. She is able to get plenty of other art time with us, but during this separate time, we are learning to sketch.
So, I guess I better to get to writing about my challenges...Week two I did really well on the yelling challenge. Week three, not so good. I yelled at Kayla every day. With the combination of sensory issues and getting into the terrible threes, we are having lots of issues with her. I should know that yelling at her will do no good, but sometimes I just yell before I even realize what I am doing. She is just such a handful right now!
Health challenge - Neither of the last two weeks have been great. Kayla has had me up four hours in the middle of the night quite often. When I am tired, I don't do so well with my diet. I know I shouldn't use excuses but I just don't do well when I am tired. However, I have lost two pounds! I don't know how, maybe it was the few workouts I got in or something. I have no idea.
Well, I am too tired to think of how to wrap up this post, so Goodnight!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
God's perfect timing
We are leaving our church.
Ah, the words I have dreaded admitting out loud to the people from our church. The last five years there have been wonderful. The kids and I have made some good friends. The oldest two are just 5 1/2 & 8, so they have had the same friends most their life. I have also taught some wonderful children and enjoyed it very much. However, my husband never quite got connected, for whatever reason. Much of it has had to do with his weird schedules over the years. He just always dealt with the feeling of not fitting in, because he knew how much the kids and I loved it there...
I have been in churches long enough to know that people will talk, speculate, and gossip about why we are leaving. So I will just tell everyone the honest truth here.
Everyone is well aware that we have looked for other churches once or twice in the last 5 years. Each time we felt adamantly that God was telling us to stay put and not change churches. Each time, we were blessed again and again, and affirmed in the decision to follow what God was telling us. Including my husband who still felt like he wasn't fitting in. This summer, like every summer in the past, we attended VBS at another church. But it was different this year. This year Daddy took the kids every night (I went a few times as well). They had refreshments for the parents to sit and fellowship while the kids were in class. After the first night my hubby came home feeling like God had placed us there for a reason. Then he asked me to sit and talk to people with him. These conversations weren't deep conversations but just killing time type conversations. But for whatever reason we just really felt like God was calling us to this church. We decided to visit on a Sunday. There was just one problem. Due to being out of town and having 4H commitments, we wouldn't be able to visit for another three weeks. This also meant that I would have to take more time off of teaching at our current church. I dreaded that and the questions it would bring up. However, when those questions came, my children's director was incredibly understanding of the situation. During those three weeks we prayed a lot about this whole church thing. Before we even went on Sunday, we were pretty sure it would be our new church home, which was almost frightening to us. We felt so strongly that God was telling us that this would be our new church home. That is scary when you have never even heard the preacher preach. So, that Sunday finally comes around and it isn't the main pastor speaking, and the service was not a normal service at all since they were interviewing a new youth pastor. We both came out of church saying "That's it. Doesn't matter. God has confirmed over and over again that this is where we need to be. We don't even care how the normal pastors preaching is because if God is calling us here then we know it will be good." (We have now been another week and heard the head pastor preach.)
So, That's just it. God has told us to and that's all that matters. Anything that has or hasn't happened at our other church in the past doesn't matter. Cause if this move wasn't something God wanted us to do then we wouldn't. God is telling us to make this change in our lives and so we are.
Ah, the words I have dreaded admitting out loud to the people from our church. The last five years there have been wonderful. The kids and I have made some good friends. The oldest two are just 5 1/2 & 8, so they have had the same friends most their life. I have also taught some wonderful children and enjoyed it very much. However, my husband never quite got connected, for whatever reason. Much of it has had to do with his weird schedules over the years. He just always dealt with the feeling of not fitting in, because he knew how much the kids and I loved it there...
I have been in churches long enough to know that people will talk, speculate, and gossip about why we are leaving. So I will just tell everyone the honest truth here.
Everyone is well aware that we have looked for other churches once or twice in the last 5 years. Each time we felt adamantly that God was telling us to stay put and not change churches. Each time, we were blessed again and again, and affirmed in the decision to follow what God was telling us. Including my husband who still felt like he wasn't fitting in. This summer, like every summer in the past, we attended VBS at another church. But it was different this year. This year Daddy took the kids every night (I went a few times as well). They had refreshments for the parents to sit and fellowship while the kids were in class. After the first night my hubby came home feeling like God had placed us there for a reason. Then he asked me to sit and talk to people with him. These conversations weren't deep conversations but just killing time type conversations. But for whatever reason we just really felt like God was calling us to this church. We decided to visit on a Sunday. There was just one problem. Due to being out of town and having 4H commitments, we wouldn't be able to visit for another three weeks. This also meant that I would have to take more time off of teaching at our current church. I dreaded that and the questions it would bring up. However, when those questions came, my children's director was incredibly understanding of the situation. During those three weeks we prayed a lot about this whole church thing. Before we even went on Sunday, we were pretty sure it would be our new church home, which was almost frightening to us. We felt so strongly that God was telling us that this would be our new church home. That is scary when you have never even heard the preacher preach. So, that Sunday finally comes around and it isn't the main pastor speaking, and the service was not a normal service at all since they were interviewing a new youth pastor. We both came out of church saying "That's it. Doesn't matter. God has confirmed over and over again that this is where we need to be. We don't even care how the normal pastors preaching is because if God is calling us here then we know it will be good." (We have now been another week and heard the head pastor preach.)
So, That's just it. God has told us to and that's all that matters. Anything that has or hasn't happened at our other church in the past doesn't matter. Cause if this move wasn't something God wanted us to do then we wouldn't. God is telling us to make this change in our lives and so we are.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Week 1
Well, week one of my challenge is over. I feel like it went pretty well. The yelling challenge was the hardest at first. By the end of the week I did go a good 4 days with no yelling. Today I ruined it. I would love to say that in my defense they were back talking and wouldn't stop and so I was forced to yell. However, in reality I probably could have still dealt with it differently. I will get there though. For now, I will celebrate 4 days of no yelling.
My thoughts thus far on the yelling challenge: I didn't mention anything to my husband, but just changed my habits. I assume he read my blog though since he immediately improved as well. The benefits happened immediately. Within a few short hours I noticed my older two talking nicer to each other and having less attitude. This got better and better each and every day. Along with the better attitudes came children who were helpful, thoughtful, and caring. They worked together, played together, and just had a fun week. Oh, I must also remember that I also took away the remotes to the Playstation and Wii. Since we don't have cable this meant that they only had access to a few educational shows and not everything on Netflix and Hulu. Taking away the shows and all the attitude, yelling, and fighting that they watch was also huge in this no yelling effort. I brought the remote back out for the weekend. Things got worse again. So, I have decided that the remotes will be hidden again during the week. I don't know about the weekend yet, but we will definitely have to regulate it more than we did this weekend.
Healthy Challenge: I am finding that it isn't as easy to get into the routine this time around. I don't know why. The cravings are worse than before. I have had a few desserts this week (though they were portion controlled), way too many carbs, and not enough fruits and veggies. I did great on water intake and only had pop once! Now, thoughts on pop.....bad bad stuff!! We took the kids to the movie theater yesterday. Afterwards we picked up Subway and went to the park to eat and play. I forgot to get myself a water and so I ended up drinking some of my hubby's Mt. Dew (maybe 12oz at most). It tasted gross. Thought that since it tasted so bad that it wouldn't set me back, because I wouldn't be craving something that is too sweet for my tastes. Then later on everyone goes to bed. Here I sat till 1:30am wide awake, not even tired at all. I still didn't feel tired when I finally did get in bed. I finally did sleep, but not well. I tossed and turned all night. I had a really hard time getting up this morning. So of course I was then craving caffeine!! Stupid soda makers have us all hooked on caffeine!! It is so addictive! Did I go get a pop? Nope. I grabbed my water bottle and started chugging the water. Thankfully I didn't have any headaches like I had earlier in the week.
So, as I go into week 2 I am hoping to improve some things. I would like to go more than 4 days without yelling. I would like to go the entire week without pop. I would like to eat more fruits and veggies, while cutting back on the desserts.
Thanks to my hubby for encouraging me and going through all this with me. Thanks to my accountability partner who has been with me through the last few months and is still doing this with me. It is so great to have those texts at all times of the day encouraging me, holding me accountable, and sharing the good and bad.
My thoughts thus far on the yelling challenge: I didn't mention anything to my husband, but just changed my habits. I assume he read my blog though since he immediately improved as well. The benefits happened immediately. Within a few short hours I noticed my older two talking nicer to each other and having less attitude. This got better and better each and every day. Along with the better attitudes came children who were helpful, thoughtful, and caring. They worked together, played together, and just had a fun week. Oh, I must also remember that I also took away the remotes to the Playstation and Wii. Since we don't have cable this meant that they only had access to a few educational shows and not everything on Netflix and Hulu. Taking away the shows and all the attitude, yelling, and fighting that they watch was also huge in this no yelling effort. I brought the remote back out for the weekend. Things got worse again. So, I have decided that the remotes will be hidden again during the week. I don't know about the weekend yet, but we will definitely have to regulate it more than we did this weekend.
Healthy Challenge: I am finding that it isn't as easy to get into the routine this time around. I don't know why. The cravings are worse than before. I have had a few desserts this week (though they were portion controlled), way too many carbs, and not enough fruits and veggies. I did great on water intake and only had pop once! Now, thoughts on pop.....bad bad stuff!! We took the kids to the movie theater yesterday. Afterwards we picked up Subway and went to the park to eat and play. I forgot to get myself a water and so I ended up drinking some of my hubby's Mt. Dew (maybe 12oz at most). It tasted gross. Thought that since it tasted so bad that it wouldn't set me back, because I wouldn't be craving something that is too sweet for my tastes. Then later on everyone goes to bed. Here I sat till 1:30am wide awake, not even tired at all. I still didn't feel tired when I finally did get in bed. I finally did sleep, but not well. I tossed and turned all night. I had a really hard time getting up this morning. So of course I was then craving caffeine!! Stupid soda makers have us all hooked on caffeine!! It is so addictive! Did I go get a pop? Nope. I grabbed my water bottle and started chugging the water. Thankfully I didn't have any headaches like I had earlier in the week.
So, as I go into week 2 I am hoping to improve some things. I would like to go more than 4 days without yelling. I would like to go the entire week without pop. I would like to eat more fruits and veggies, while cutting back on the desserts.
Thanks to my hubby for encouraging me and going through all this with me. Thanks to my accountability partner who has been with me through the last few months and is still doing this with me. It is so great to have those texts at all times of the day encouraging me, holding me accountable, and sharing the good and bad.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Life changes
I am really not a person who likes organization, lists, schedules, or anything of the sort. I like a flexible, fly by the seat of your pants sort of lifestyle. However, since having our 3rd child, I have realized that I can no longer live like that. We NEED organization in order to survive these years.
I have created detailed schedules, detailed chore lists, detailed behavior lists, and a detailed perk system for the kids. A section of our hallway is devoted to these things. When I follow them and make everyone else follow them, life if great. House is clean, people are happy and feel proud of their work, and we even have more fun and spare time! When life gets busy and I don't make us stick to the routine, then everyone is cranky, yells a lot, house is a mess, and so on. I am slowly learning that we can not stray from these lists.
A few months ago I went on an 8 week weight loss healthy challenge. The focus is more on health than actual weight loss. In those 8 weeks of getting healthy I lost 22 pounds! It has almost been another eight weeks since it ended. Wanna know how much I have lost in these last couple months? Four pounds! How crazy is that that once I no longer HAD to keep track, then I just stopped and completely fell off the bandwagon?! I have been drinking pop, eating junk, and not drinking water. I KNOW that I felt incredible when I was drinking a ton of water, and yet I still slid back into my old habits.
Something else that I have noticed is that when I stopped taking care of myself is that I became "mean mom". Though my kids have never called me that, that is how I feel. I am so much more tired now that I stopped eating healthy. Tiredness = Crankiness = a mom who yells way too much. I yell at my kids. I yell at my husband because he is yelling at the kids. It is a vicious cycle. If I am the main provider of the kids and I yell at them during the day, night, weekend; then of course they are gonna be cranky and yell and scream when dad is home and he will get cranky back because all he wants is a fun relaxing time with the family. I can place the blame on so many things but in the end, it boils down to one thing. I have not been using self control. Self control over my eating, sleeping, or exercise habits, as well as my emotions.
So, I have concluded that starting in the morning, I am going back on my healthy challenge. Since 8 weeks obviously wasn't long enough to engrave healthy habits in my brain then I am making it longer. I am making it a 21 week challenge. That will put the end just before the new year. My hope is that by then I will have created new life long habits that I will stick with.
I have also learned about a No yelling challenge. Yeah! Just what I need! With this challenge, if you yell, then you start over. If you have a rage type yell, then you start with -2 days. The goal is to get to 365 days with no yelling. For me right now, that seems IMPOSSIBLE. So, I am setting my goal as this: Go as long as I can without yelling. When I yell and start back over, then I try to make it further than before. My hope is that I will get farther and farther each time. My second home is that as a side effect of me not yelling, my children and husband will stop yelling as well.
So, here goes nothing. I am posting this publicly so that people can ask me how I am doing and help to hold me accountable. I need all the support I can get if I am going to change. If anyone wants walk beside me and do these things with me, then that would be great as well.
Links to the challenges in case anyone is interested:
http://theorangerhino.com/about-the-orange-rhino/
http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2012/01/8-week-printable-weight-loss-get.html
I have created detailed schedules, detailed chore lists, detailed behavior lists, and a detailed perk system for the kids. A section of our hallway is devoted to these things. When I follow them and make everyone else follow them, life if great. House is clean, people are happy and feel proud of their work, and we even have more fun and spare time! When life gets busy and I don't make us stick to the routine, then everyone is cranky, yells a lot, house is a mess, and so on. I am slowly learning that we can not stray from these lists.
A few months ago I went on an 8 week weight loss healthy challenge. The focus is more on health than actual weight loss. In those 8 weeks of getting healthy I lost 22 pounds! It has almost been another eight weeks since it ended. Wanna know how much I have lost in these last couple months? Four pounds! How crazy is that that once I no longer HAD to keep track, then I just stopped and completely fell off the bandwagon?! I have been drinking pop, eating junk, and not drinking water. I KNOW that I felt incredible when I was drinking a ton of water, and yet I still slid back into my old habits.
Something else that I have noticed is that when I stopped taking care of myself is that I became "mean mom". Though my kids have never called me that, that is how I feel. I am so much more tired now that I stopped eating healthy. Tiredness = Crankiness = a mom who yells way too much. I yell at my kids. I yell at my husband because he is yelling at the kids. It is a vicious cycle. If I am the main provider of the kids and I yell at them during the day, night, weekend; then of course they are gonna be cranky and yell and scream when dad is home and he will get cranky back because all he wants is a fun relaxing time with the family. I can place the blame on so many things but in the end, it boils down to one thing. I have not been using self control. Self control over my eating, sleeping, or exercise habits, as well as my emotions.
So, I have concluded that starting in the morning, I am going back on my healthy challenge. Since 8 weeks obviously wasn't long enough to engrave healthy habits in my brain then I am making it longer. I am making it a 21 week challenge. That will put the end just before the new year. My hope is that by then I will have created new life long habits that I will stick with.
I have also learned about a No yelling challenge. Yeah! Just what I need! With this challenge, if you yell, then you start over. If you have a rage type yell, then you start with -2 days. The goal is to get to 365 days with no yelling. For me right now, that seems IMPOSSIBLE. So, I am setting my goal as this: Go as long as I can without yelling. When I yell and start back over, then I try to make it further than before. My hope is that I will get farther and farther each time. My second home is that as a side effect of me not yelling, my children and husband will stop yelling as well.
So, here goes nothing. I am posting this publicly so that people can ask me how I am doing and help to hold me accountable. I need all the support I can get if I am going to change. If anyone wants walk beside me and do these things with me, then that would be great as well.
Links to the challenges in case anyone is interested:
http://theorangerhino.com/about-the-orange-rhino/
http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2012/01/8-week-printable-weight-loss-get.html
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