Big decisions for little people

It seems as though I tend to write more when I am sad, angry or exhausted. I don't take the time often enough to post when I am happy and things are going great. Probably because during those times, I don't take time to sit and relax after the kids go to bed. During those times, I bake, sing, talk on the phone, and do other "fun" things that I like after the kids go to bed. So here I sit, after another exhausting night and wanting to write. Though there is plenty of negative frustrations to write about, there are also some great things going on that I NEED to write about.

Though this has really been in the works for over a year; within the last month my oldest really got to talking about baptism. With her being a mere 9yrs old, I was afraid of her making decisions she did not fully understand the gravity of. So, keeping with my main parenting philosophy, I just answered her questions without giving more information than what she asked for. The questions got deeper and deeper and eventually I realized that she may actually be ready to start making big decisions on her own, or at least this one. She asked me if she could plan a date to become baptized. I told her I didn't know if she was mature enough and that I wanted her to speak with a pastor who would then decide if they thought she was truly understanding what she was doing. Little did I know, she had been speaking with this pastor for quite some time about it and they were just waiting for the call.

During one of these times of questioning, my 6yr old randomly said he wanted to be baptized as well. I just kind of mentally brushed his comment aside assuming he just wanted to be like his sister, and his desire for this would go away. It didn't. Two days later he was getting very adamant that he needed to be baptized at the same time as her. I wasn't sure what to think. I am very skeptical about letting a child get baptized before they are truly ready. I wouldn't ever want someone to do it to fit in, or because they felt pressure. I needed to be sure he wasn't feeling any of those feelings. At bedtime that night, I sat on his bed and asked why he wanted to be baptized. His answer blew me away. He said "Well mom, I feel like God is calling me to be a pastor and spread his word. The first step to doing that is getting baptized, and it's time I do that and get to work on becoming a pastor." UMMMM, WHAT?! You are six, SIX! You know what God wants you to do with your life?! Okay, I didn't really say that out loud, but that is what was going through my head.

So of course, both kids met with their children's pastor and the meeting went great. We scheduled the baptism for Monday. What?! Not Sunday?! Well, this is THEIR baptism, not mine. I wanted it on Sunday. I wanted the music, the applause and all that, even though I knew I would be an emotional wreck. But this wasn't up to me. This wasn't my decision. I can't tell my kids how to become baptized. I can't tell them how to live life like a christian. It is between them and God. I made my decision years ago. I had my Sunday baptism. I got what I wanted, and now it was their turn. The first big decision of their lives, and as much as I wanted to control how it happened, I couldn't. I didn't even try. I just sat on the sidelines and supported them. As a parent of young kids, that can be so hard to do. I never imagined I would be watching my young 6 & 9yr olds start taking control over their lives at such a young age.

Since this time, my 6yr old has made some remarkable changes. He is taking what he feels is his calling very seriously. His favorite game is "Tell me what to find in the Bible" and then he locates it and has you read it to him. Sometimes he will read it himself. For a kid who has REFUSED to learn to read for two years now, this is huge. He has no interest in reading anything other than the Bible. He carries his Bible everywhere. The grocery store, friends' houses, the car, and every where else he goes. Today I had to forbid him to take it to his class. I had to explain there there is a time to learn the Bible, and there is a time to learn Science, and that the Bible does not need to be carried on a Science hike. His response? "But mom, God created Science, so the Bible has a lot to do with it, so I think I still need it in case we need to look something up."

Oh. My. Goodness!!! Am I really equipped to keep up with this kid?! What do you say to him when he comes up with answers like that? Did God really choose ME to raise a pastor? I am so not the person for this job!!

Though, if it is God's will, then I guess I am the person for this job. I know God will give me the equipment to do it and not screw it up. The thought of my kid becoming a preacher is exhilarating and frightening at the same time. I have to remind myself not to put too much emphasis on this because if I do, it could push him from following God's will. I am just trying to do what I always do. Answer what they want to know, without pushing them beyond what they are capable of understanding, supporting them in what they want & need to do in life, and praying to God that somehow it all works to his glory no matter what my kids' professions end up being in the future.

We serve a mighty, all knowing God. He knows how this will all work out. For now, I just have to sit back and be extremely thankful and proud of my children for giving their lives to Christ.