Mother's Day & my Birthday!

Well, typically we don't have much money for a birthday present for me from my family so they just get something small. This year was different. This year I am in a weightloss healthy challenge. I am trying to lose weight and get healthy. My husband decided that he would get me a new bike for my birthday, but give it to me a couple weeks early to help with my workouts. I LOVE my new bike! It is geared so much differently and has a much more comfortable seat. I love to take long rides on it. I currently can do about seven miles in 45 minutes. I hope to one day be able to much more than that without having to stop and rest. This is a great start though!

Since I got my bike early, I didn't have anything to open on my birthday/Mother's day. A child did hand me a water bottle cage (for my bike) but it ended up being the wrong color. I hated to tell them but it was the only thing left that I wanted and they had driven to four stores to find what they thought was the right one. When they asked if it was the right one they could just tell from the look on my face. I felt bad cause they had tried but on the other hand I felt jealous. Jealous of all the mom's on Facebook. Jealous that they all were posting these pictures of cards, flowers, and presents they were given. Jealous that their husbands and kids were pampering them by giving them a day off. I didn't get any of that. Here I was struggling to get kids ready for church, a house cleaned and dinner ready for my mom to come over for her Mother's day dinner. I was working my butt off while reading how wonderful all these mother's felt being spoiled. I also was getting texts from a cousin stressing about having dinner at her home. This just added to my jealousy. Why is she complaining? She doesn't have kids. She doesn't have a 2yr old's messes to clean up. I was so frustrated. Here is was not only Mother's Day, but my birthday as well. Feeling sick didn't help at all either...In the end, I realized that I shouldn't be jealous. I shouldn't even bother to get on Facebook and risk having those jealous feelings. It doesn't matter what these other people got. Before the internet, people never shared all those things, and people didn't care what other's got. So why should I care now? I knew going into marriage that my husband wasn't a very romantic person. I knew that he gets me practical things because he knows I am a practical person. While I am a girl and would love to be spoiled with frivolous things every now and then, it really isn't something that I want very often. So for future, I think I will just stay away from Facebook on holidays because if I don't see things then I won't feel jealous.

Now, though my actual birthday I felt sick, tired, jealous, and frustrated, the two days prior were the exact opposite. Friday we had a great day at home. The kids were wonderful, got along, helped with chores, and did school great. In the afternoon we took them to gym and art class. While they were there I went and spent time with my Grandfather, and Skyped with my brother. That was very special for my Grandfather since he really misses my brother. After we picked the kids back up from their class, we went and got Ellie (a friend's teenager). We had a great evening with the kids, and I stayed up late talking with Ellie. The next day we got up, and had to be at the ball field for Bubba's baseball game. It was only 44 degrees and so Ellie stayed home with the girls. It was great to be able to watch the game just us without having to chase after a 2yr old or hear Mo complain about how boring it was. When we got back we got some things done around the house, and then everyone except Squeeks and myself went out shopping (for that one present they planned to get me). Squeeks took a nap and I layed around since I didn't feel well. When they all got back, Ellie told us to go out for my birthday date. We went out to dinner, ran errands, went for dessert, and then a drive. It was wonderful to get out for a few hours and not worry about kids. They all had gotten along perfect all day and we knew that they were fine at home.

I was feeling so incredibly blessed on Saturday. Blessed that we have three beautiful children. Blessed that even though we may have rough days, we also have many many great days. Blessed that my children love to spend time together and are great friends. Blessed that I have a husband that loves to spend time with his kids, teach them new things and skills, and cuddle with them. Blessed that we also have a fourth child that while not our own, chooses to call us mom and dad. Who comes to our home to spend time with us and our children cause she loves us as her own family. Bless to be a mentor to her, an open ear/shoulder for her, and to have an extra sibling for our children. We have gone through some big fights with her and our children in the past, especially our oldest. To see their relationship go from fighting, bickering and complaining, to finding common ground, talking about things, crafting together and playing together is such a beautiful thing. I am so glad that they have this loving sibling relationship now. I feel so blessed to have these four beautiful children in our lives and to call us mom & dad.

I didn't really have a plan to wrap this post up so I guess it is this...While the world tells us to celebrate on certain days and to make people feel special on certain days, that is not always necessary or work out right. My family had no intentions of making my birthday a rough one, nor did my friend's on Facebook. It was just a normal day that got lost in the happenings of life. It is almost more special and beautiful when things happen the way they did the two days prior. When life becomes beautiful and special just happening on their own, that's when you know true happiness. I don't need a card or flowers to tell me that I have a beautiful family who loves me.

Oh, and I almost forgot. In the end, we did pull off a great lunch for my mom. We had a great time talking, eating, and hanging out for awhile. We hadn't done that in awhile and it was even better to do it in the comfort of our own home where we didn't have to worry about kids messes, restruants, or getting into things. It was just a wonderful relaxing time.

One of THOSE days

It is only 11:30am and already it has been a long day. It is one of THOSE days. For those trying to understand what the sensory issues are in our household, let me give you a picture of what a day like this consists of.

Anything and everything can set the 7yr old off into a crying frenzy. You never know what will set her off and how to stop it. Sometimes she just needs to get it out before life can move on. This could be the simplest thing like not letting her get a chicken out, not getting the correct yogurt or simply turning off the tv. Most days these things are not a big issue but on a day like today it is a major issue. It can set her off crying for upwards of 5-10 minutes. That has been how this morning was for Mo. I can already tell that due to the uncontrollable emotions this morning that homeschooling will be extremely hard today and we will be lucky if we even get two subjects done.

Today the 2yr old has her emotions in check. It is a good day emotionally for her. However, her proprioceptive disorder is in high gear today. She is needing to touch everything and taste everything. All morning long I have chased her around the house getting her out of things and cleaning up her messes. Some could think this is normal 2yr old behavior, but it's not. It is more than that. Most two years olds make messes just to make messes. For Squeeks it is the intense NEED to feel everything, every texture, and taste every object. So far today it has mostly been food, paper and crayon related. Other days it is soap, cleaners, licking the floor and walls, and just about every other thing that could make her sick. Although today is rough, I am thankful it isn't anything that will harm her.

So, What does a day like this mean for the parent? It means that anything that I wanted to accomplish will not get done most likely. It means that my day will be solely focused on meeting sensory and emotional needs. This is so important because if their needs are not met then things will get worse. Tears will turn into anger and uncontrolled temper. Messes will become larger and 2yr old tantrums will start. As I type this I have 3 kids playing outside in "clean mud" (a combination of baking soda and enough water to made it into a moldable mud.) Why? This is extra sensory input. It feels good to them, gives them something to focus on and tells their brain to calm down. After this we should have a good hour or two. After lunch the 2yr old may or may not nap....

Well, now as I write this, the 2yr old has dumped her clean mud into the grass and is mad she can't pick it back up. It looks like this was the wrong input for today. Now we will be loading up and heading to the park. Why? Not to play but to hang on the bars, to climb the steps to the slide, to do all the things that give extra sensory input and tells her brain that this activity should wear her out and calm her down. On a bad day like today, there is nothing else that will work. Well, except swimming, that is the one exception.

As you can see from my last paragraph, I never know when and how my day will change. While I would love to control these things, some days it is not possible. Days like these I just pray to keep up a bit and remind myself that tomorrow is a new day. Today is today, do not worry about the house, worry about keeping the kids happy, healthy, fed, and well kept. Other things can wait. Even the therapists has informed me that at this age it is more important to learn to deal with the sensory disorder than to do school. SO, we do school on the good days, what we can on the bad days, and in the end, I know that my girl is not behind her peers and is well on her way to a good education. Hopefully between therapy and the things I do at home, she will also become a well rounded individual who knows how to control her lifelong disorder.

Spring, or wait, is it winter?

In the last 24hrs we have gotten 11 inches of snow. It's supposed to be spring! We are all so sick of snow that even the kids had no interest in playing in it. Finally around 5pm when they were bored they decided to go out. I gave them colored water to spray on the snow and that made it a little more fun since they had not done that before. Thank goodness I had Jello though cause I couldn't find my food coloring. We went through all four boxes that I had. I was so happy that they had fun and finally got outside. It is such a great sensory time playing in the snow. Squeeks had quite a great time eating jello snow cones!

Tonight at 6pm my son asked me to make a new recipe for dinner (if you know my son, you know this is HUGE). Well, with such short notice I decided on pizza grilled cheese. Even though it was such a simple meal he turned it down after one bite as he does with all new meals. By the time I was done making them all he decided to try another bite of a different sandwich then exclaimed "This one is really good! Not like the other one!" He ate the entire thing!!! Maybe he is finally willing to start trying new foods again!

I hate coming up with titles...Not my thing!

Tonight was the 2nd night that Squeeks didn't go to bed till around 11pm. I really hope that she isn't up at 5am again! I have no clue why she is staying up and sleeping so little. Our kids have always been 12hr a day sleepers. Today I refused to give her a nap in hopes that she will sleep all night long. I really need some sleep myself!! Us both being tired is a recipe for disaster. I can't do many more days like that.

Well, Squeeks has been wearing a weighted vest and we have been doing the brushing therapy for a few days now. Already we have noticed a decrease in things being licked or put into her mouth, including the binky. She even has fallen asleep without a binky! Can't believe we are seeing improvement already. The vest seems to help her stay a bit calmer as well. However it isn't practical to wear all the time, especially when we are out and about. She does seem to like it though and it does help. I think I am going to attempt to make one. We'll see how that goes!!

Other two kids are doing great. Bubba is starting 1st grade math and finishing up kindergarten Language Arts. He is signed up for T-Ball but they have yet to call and let me know when practice and stuff will start. Excited to see how he likes baseball. Yesterday he built his first model of a Star Wars X Plane/Spaceship. He did it almost completely by himself and loved every minute of it. It is so much fun to watch him grow and take more interest in boy type things. He has been stuck playing with his sister and other girls his whole life so it's great to watch him become his own person with different interests.

Mo is doing good. Her reading and writing are progressing very well now that they are doing school on the computer. I love how well their program works with her vision disorder!! Especially since I am so busy with Kayla right now this online schooling is a wonderful fit for us at this time. Mo's Physical Therapy is also going well. I think that after her next evaluation we will probably decrease her appointments. So glad that her shoe inserts are helping and that her injury is healing! We have been on a 3wk break from OT so that we could switch to a therapist we feel works better with Mo. This was Mo's request which surprised me because she really liked the other therapist but I am glad she stands up for what she knows she needs. So now both girls will be seeing the same therapist for OT (once Squeeks is approved for ongoing therapy). I am excited about that cause I feel this is the best therapist for us. She is so full of knowledge and helps me understand things very well. I hope that one day I can get the hubby to go to an appointment and see for himself what I have been trying to explain. I think that will help him a lot, but until we can make it work with his work & school schedule he will just have to take my word and try to help the girls from that. He has been doing good on many things but he still has a hard time even understanding what this disorder is all about.

Well, I feel like I am just logging information with no end in sight cause I am just so tired that I am watching my fingers move, but not really thinking. I hope this isn't all over the place and actually flows/makes sense! I need to get myself to bed!!! Goodnight!

busy day!

Went in to get Kayla out of her room. Found her snuggled in Mo's arms grinning ear to ear. Mo sleepily (possibly sleep talking) said "She has a pen and wrote on your palm" Well, Kayla did have a pen and was writing on her palms. She also had strewn Barbies all over the room, taken off her pj's and put on a shirt of Mo's.

Sensory Processing Disorders

A few months ago Mo was diagnosed with a knee injury and a vision disorder. Due to the physical therapy for the knee, we found out about Occupational Therapy. While the therapist isn't able to help us with her particular vision/neurological disorder, she did immediately notice that Mo has a Sensory Processing Disorder. I don't remember if I have blogged about this or not, so I will shorten what happened. While we waited for insurance to approve the therapy, I read a book and handouts the therapist gave me. Just by implimenting some things that I read, Mo went from sleep walking 3-6x a night to once a week. She went from screaming 2-5x a night to not at all! So, fast forward a few months to now. She is still on the path to getting things under control. We still have some issues during the day but not nearly as many.

After learning about sensory disorders, I was positive that Squeeks has it as well. I tried just adding some sensory things into our home and into her daily life. While these things helped Mo, it did not seem to help Squeeks. I finally got to a point where I was overwhelmed with her and talked to the therapist. She said that we should not wait any longer and come in for an exam. At the exam I found out that things were much worse than I could have imagined. The therapist sent us home with a weighted vest and a brush. The weighted vest is to give Squeeks pressure which her body seeks, as well as the added weight to make her work harder which will tell her body that she should be more tired. The brush is for us to lightly brush her skin with which stimulates the nerves to tell them how to work properly, but it must also be followed up with joint compressions so that the nerves will calm back down after being stimulated.

While Mo is only going to OT every other week, Squeeks will need to be seen every week if we can work it into our/ the therapists schedule. We have so many things to work on with her. Her core stability is really weak. I had no idea! I also didn't realize that this could be part of why her mouth is always open and why she doesn't like to chew her food. We also will work on her constant oral fixation and need for something in her mouth and for licking things. She has issues with clothing and things as well. These things are why we are doing the "Brushing Technique". We also will be addressing the attention span, control over voice, sitting properly (no "W" sitting), and doing lots of heavy work. We have a long road ahead of us where she is concerned but I am so happy to be receiving help this time around! You see, Mo was a tiring toddler as well. I thought she just had a very strong willed and energetic personality. I had no clue that she had a disorder which caused her to act the way she was. While raising a 2nd toddler with SPD is still tiring, it is so comforting to now know that there is help and that there is a true reason for my child to act out and that it's not just cause she is misbehaving.

 Not many people understand what I am going through. It's frustrating to not have many people to talk to about this who understand. My own husband doesn't even understand it yet. There are so many days where I just want to vent but yet I can't because no one understands. There are so many days that I want to scream for joy in the accomplishments that are huge for our family, even though they wouldn't be to another family.

Today for example, Squeeks was licking the toilet bowl brush and a step stool that she had splashed water all over from the toilet cleaning attempt. Even though I am sure it tasted nasty, I literally had to pull her off the stood and out of the bathroom. This behavior wasn't to be bad. In fact she thought she was being helpful to clean the toilet. It's not her fault that those brush bristles have a funny texture that she likes to feel with her mouth.  And the step stool, well of course that wet cold water is a great sensation and the grating texture on the stood is quite nice too! This was a frustrating time in my day. I had integrated many sensory things into the day and yet it still wasn't enough, she went and sought out more. I felt awful that she was licking something that had been in the toilet. Imagine all the germs!!! AHH!!! But alas, there is nothing I could do but brush her teeth, try to explain it is gross and not to do it, and then remove her from the bathroom and attempt to get her onto some other activity.

This was just one tiny part of my day, and let me tell you, "events" like this happen at least a few times a day. It's tiring, and frustrating. But oh the smiles of a happy sensory child covered in shaving cream this morning was worth the rest of the exhausting day. It makes me happy to see her when her sensory needs are being met in a controlled environment. I love knowing that I CAN do this. I have done it before and I can do it again, and this time will be easier and more fun because I actually know what I am dealing with. Last time I did it blindly, following my gut for 7 years before I had a name to go with what I already knew to be true. Now instead of guessing as to how to treat these behaviors, I know what I should do.

Moving Craziness

So today Mo asked me to check her hair tonight after her shower cause she thinks she has lice. Well, what she failed to mention was that over the last few days since mom has been so busy, she thought she would stop brushing her hair cause it is the only way to get that poofy wavy hair that most her friends have. So um, no case of lice here, just a major case of tangles that took me an HOUR to get out. Hair is now in pinwheels in hopes of poofy wavy hair tomorrow. Crazy kid!

So for that last 3wks we have been moving. This has been an extremely long process with little help. Today we turned in the keys to the old place. I was so happy to do so! The mobile home served as a good home for us for 4 years but I am so happy to be out of there. While it was home cause that's where we were together as a family, it never felt like a true home. We didn't have a good yard to send the kids out to play in and didn't have a garage (which for a mechanic is very tough). The walls were so thin that we couldn't hang shelves or anything else big. Now, the new house is an older style with thick walls, cast iron tub and a good layout. It is much smaller than the mobile home but so far I am loving it. The mobile home was so open and had so much floor space for the kids to mess up. There were so many counters in the kitchen that we would pile stuff on them. I would spend 4-5 hours a day cleaning just to have the house still be trashed. The new home has about half the kitchen space and the table is in that area as well since we no longer have a dining room. No counters to clutter up! The laundry is in a closet off the kitchen, so no laundry room to clutter up either. The pool table is now in half of the garage so no pool table to lay laundry on. Yeah! Maybe we can actually start playing pool! Kids bedrooms are a bit smaller than before which with the girls sharing they don't like that but it is much easier to clean. Our bedroom is MUCH smaller since the old master suite was over 400sqft. While we did have to cram in a lot of furniture, it did all fit and we still have enough room to comfortably walk around. Once again, much less of an area to clutter and have to clean. So far I am only spending 2-3hrs a day with my cleaning duties and that includes the laundry. A much more manageable cleaning schedule! Our backyard is huge. It is so nice to just be able to send the kids outside to play. It has been fairly muddy out since it is still wintry weather so they haven't been able to play too much but they are enjoying it on the days it is nice enough to play. I am slowly working on building a obstacle course around the outside of the yard. So far I have a rocking donkey, small trampoline and slide. I hope to add a balance beam, hopscotch (or another jumping game) and maybe a couple swings. We also are setting up a chalk board and a sensory table. Even with all these things in the yard, there is still room for riding bikes, a garden, fire pit, table & Chairs, and grill. I don't know for sure but I think this yard is at least 1/2 acre. Drastic change from the yard we had before. I am so excited for this summer and all the things we can do in the yard! One thing on the list to do is put up the tent and camp. The kids think that will be so fun to do.